~ overflow ~

Problem:

Migrate a SQL 2000 DB to a 2005 Server and IIS 6.0 to IIS 7.0.

Extra Issues:

- SQL2000 is full of procedures, views and identity tables (+200 each)
- Coder who built tables/procedures was lame, so there might be NULL values where it shouldn’t among with other things, like STRINGs being converted to DATE, INT, etc.
- Also includes lame asp coding.
- CRYPT MICROSOFT ERRORS (CRITICAL)

More Problems:

I don’t know why people still using microsoft, everything is against it. Not only the OS, but everything (ASP, SQL, VB, IE, Office, etc) related to microsoft is bad.

When you start to get those `error: XXXXXXXXX` like you know you’re screwed, why:

- Error codes aren’t clear and used by many different instances.. guess what, none of them will fit your issue;
- Microsoft KB isen’t accurate;
- Sometimes, Microsoft KB might present you the right answer, but it will be the last one on a list of 10 possible solutions, since they don’t have much control on the crypt errors themselfs, no wonder;
- Microsoft KB likes to do inaccurate automatic translations of the content (if your not english native), meaning that, if you eventually forgot that, you will be lead to another issue caused by the automatic translation.
- MSSQL don’t have `limit x` on delete/update queries, unless you do a huge workaround that will lead to more issues.
- IIS complies with MSSQL, also showing crypt errors, making the debugging impossible for non-computer beings (eg.: you).
- IIS crypt errors can be more funny when it simple shows `Bad Request`  or `Application Error` and NOTHING ELSE.
- IIS likes to get stuck, if you try to restart/stop/start/recicle a service that takes too much time to happen, IIS manager simply shows a message `Service not responding` and abort the operation, sometimes it abort the operation and a few minutes later it happens, other times it just don’t happen and/or get stuck then you need to reboot;
- Copying database straight from the 2000 server to a local 2005 server gives the following error: `Error, please check your log`; Checking `your log` gives lots, lots of crypt non-sense errors in my native language, guess what? 0 results on google.
- The error above takes 30 minutes to happen, nothing is copied, but there’s a 300mb .mdb file.
- If you do a `SCRIPT DATABASE` you will not get the whole data or/and tables will not have identity columns or/and some data may be corrupted (even deatched);
- If you do a `IMPORT/EXPORT` procedure, you will fall on the VERY SAME problems above, but now you may also get timeout crypt message;
- You can only edit top 300 lines on MSSMS, sorted by MSSMS’ will;
- [db_name].[dbo].[tbl_name] will not appear on the automatic generated scripts, but if you forget to add it your script will miserabily fail with a non-crypt error message (first time) — that only happens if you use MSSMS;
- Can’t stand that green circle looping;
- MSSMS 2005 and 2008 are about the same, meaning you will have the same errors, so don’t even try to update;
- SQL2005 SP3 must be installed before anything, unless you want to fall on unsolved crypt errors, leading to nothingness;
- You can also amazingly fall into crypt errors with ALSO typing errors like `erro XXXXXXXXX`;
- Screaming to the skies and throwing things around will not help;
- Reinstalling SQL Server will not help;
- Reinstalling SQL Server with latest SP will not help;
- Reinstalling OS will not help;
- Reinstalling OS with latest SP will not help;
- Reinstalling <Microsoft Software> with <Any Condition> will not help;
- IIS will not forgive and forget any `;` you put on a asp page, too bad for mainly php coders (eg.: me);
- IIS is for Apache as IE is for Firefox (is this understandable in english? don’t think so);

Another Complaint:

The triumph of a bad software can’t be explained for me, I can’t also understand why they made so much money on something that simply dosen’t work. Maybe users like
things that don’t work? Maybe there’s something magic on crypt errors and blue screens? Maybe Microsoft is paying developers to use their languages and/or software?

Solution:

After several days, tries and lots of time lost I was able to do the migration using MSSQL Enterprise 2005 SP3, the Developer, Express, SQL 2008, SP1 and SP2 gave me crypt errors when copying the database, nothing related to installing the latest SP was on the KB.
Note that i installed ALL versions to try. Thanks microsoft for such great support and programs, looking forward to support the selling of pirated microsoft dvds on streets.

Solution 2:

Move to LAMP, please.